Ten years ago, if you had told me I would one day write a 90,000-word novel about dragons, plot and begin two more and be signed to a literary agency, I would have laughed at you. To me, the world of writing fiction was impossibly distant and I had no way to get any closer to it. I didn’t know anyone who’d ever written a novel, much less gotten one published. I’d thought about it before, of course. As a kid, I’d written stories, invented worlds, and made movies with my family's VHS camcorder, but I’d always imagined writing books was too complex to figure out. But that all changed one day in 2016 when I walked into my bookstore hungry for a certain type of book I’d never found before. To try to put it simply, I wanted to find an epic quest with a strong moral sense that felt more grounded in reality than most fantasy.
To clarify what I mean by a "strong moral sense", the best term I've come up with to describe what I was after is “secular Christian” stories. I wanted stories that explore existential pondering and fundamental moral concepts that resonate with general audiences and believers alike. I wanted stories about the often-overlooked first steps toward God. I wanted a book that dug up truths found in the depths of every human heart, extracted them, and anchored a narrative on them to tell a story that could resonate with anyone and, perhaps, point them toward one vital truth or another. But I wanted it all to happen in the middle of an epic fantasy that didn't feel like a religious book.
The other thing I really wanted was fantasy stories that felt a little less like all the other fantasy stories in that they were a little more grounded in reality. To clarify that point, I must confess something that may draw the ire of other fantasy authors and readers, but it’s not the sort of thing a man can help (at least, not this man). That confession is this: I don’t like magic in stories. Don’t get me wrong, I love a lot of what fantasy has to offer. I love swords and massive battles. I love what some would consider magical creatures like dragons, goblins, and trolls. I’m a fan of castles and sprawling landscapes. I love heroes on epic quests to save the world from evil existential threats. Alas, I have something of a distaste for magic that I can’t quite explain, and it makes reading fantasy less satisfying than I wish it were. I can tolerate it if the story is good, and I often do, but generally, I find magic systems and magical stones and wizards the least intriguing parts of stories. Most often, these things feel like they are in the way of the story I want to read.
I don’t have a very robust theory as to why this is. I’ve just always wanted my dragons and battles and fantastical stories to play by rules pretty close to those of my universe – more so than most fantasy books do. I often say that I want stories with dragons that feel more like Michael Crichton’s tyrannosaurs than Tolkien’s Smaug (side note: I love Tolkien and am happy to read his magical stories). Fantasy may be about escapism, but I’ve never wanted to escape as far as most fantasy takes its readers. For when I venture too far from home, I remember I’m in a dream, and the story can’t strike quite as deep as if I’d been fooled into thinking I’d wandered into some unknown corner of my world.
I don’t mean to denigrate the fantasy genre. On the contrary, I am very self-conscious about my distaste for spells and sorcery given that I call myself a fantasy writer and generally have much in common with fans of the genre. If I ever explain my preferences to them, I do so in shame. But I mention this all now because shortly after I walked into the bookstore on that fateful day in 2016, I thought I’d found the book that would satisfy the very particular desire for an epic, magic-system-free, dragon-centered fantasy with a strong moral sense. I’d never heard of the book that had me fooled, but it was from a big publisher, and the blurb on the back and first chapter seemed to be just what I was looking for. So, I bought it, hopeful that I’d finally found a fantasy novel that would hit the spot.
Unfortunately, the book was a letdown. When I put it down, frustrated to have not found the exact story my heart desired, a message I’d heard many times without ever thinking it would apply to me echoed through my mind: “If you can’t find the book you want to read, write it.” And so, I sat down to do just that.
Over the next couple of years, I wrote my first “novel”. I qualify my use of the word because it was not anything I would ever try to get published now. However, I learned much about pacing, my natural preferences, dialogue, and countless other skills I needed to develop to write something pitch-worthy. But the most important thing I learned as I wrapped it up and realized it wasn’t great was that I wanted to write about more than all the superficial qualities I’d thought I wanted in my ideal novel. As I started reading what experienced writers had to say about how to write stories (yes – I did that after I finished my first “novel”) I discovered what kind of characters I wanted to write. Better to figure out the most important aspect of storytelling late than never! I mulled over what type of internal journeys I wanted them to go on and how I wanted those journeys to drive the story more than all of the big-picture themes and epic stuff.
The book that finally brought it all together for me and helped me see the path forward was Jessica Brody’s SAVE THE CAT! WRITES A NOVEL. If you’re interested in novel writing and don’t know where to start, this is a decent starting point. It’s very prescriptive, but the method and structure presented for a memorable, character-driven story resonated with me. I used it to plot, taking liberties where necessary, and in a little more than a year, I’d finished the first draft of FEAR OF THE SKY. From there, I underwent roughly a year and a half of beta reads and edits, which deserve blogs of their own one day. The same can be said for the query process, landing an agent, and the excruciating (at least for me) process of going on submission to publishers.
This brings us to my present state of trying to figure out how to manage my online presence (a most lamentable reality for modern authors) while I wait anxiously for a publisher who wants to buy FEAR OF THE SKY. If my writing journey were a story, I’d think I’m closing in on the end of the first act. I’m not sure what kind of surprises the second act holds, but I know I'll keep writing stories and hopefully get better at creating them.
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